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Tuesday, August 31, 2010

RED ... parts I & II

complete piece written in July of 2005
by KLRabstracts before Chevalterre Nabil
-----
---
-----
Red it bleeds
Red it drips
**
I wipe away at my nose
with my fingertips
**
The concrete
as I knelt
**
strangely, no cut
I felt
**
As I rose
to stand erect
**
That bright red
was quite direct
**
A child I was
sad and sobbing
**
The hot red
pressure throbbing
**
Chasing a boy
while riding a bike
**
Falling to my knee
the red did like
**
Through tiny pores
like little ants
**
Yellow they turned
infected under my pants
**
The stinging stain
embarrassed me
**
In summer school,
figured out its chemistry
**
The red
during puberty
**
Did not infect
my purity.
**
*<..._____-----...<*>...-----_____...>*
**
True heartache,
open wounds
**
Empty flesh hollows
Red-covered tombs
**
In shock I was
the period seized
**
The red not coming
I was not pleased
**
Heart and knuckles
in red are tarred
**
Forever
they are scarred
**
On the job
grey dust turns red
**
Through my respirator,
dizziness in my head
**
I pray at church
they serve me red
**
I eat my dumplings
they serve me red
**
I can breathe
but red comes out
**
Plasma, blood clots
I curse and shout
**
My paranoia
lurks and hides
**
For thirty days
red spills from all sides
**
Deep breathing
Deep meditation
**
Controlling the bleeding
no slack or hesitation
**
The red flows
as it is meant to be
**
Distastefully,
it is a curse to me
**
the Red
inside me boils
**
All the clothing
it soils
**
I cannot continue
eve or day
**
Without some red
spilling away
**
I fear
when in private
**
If you see it
I want to hide it
**
You ask me why
I fear the Red
**
It is a danger
inside my head
**
Like a trigger
for a bull
**
Red restrains me
into a lull.
**

Photobucket

Thursday, August 26, 2010

Bonita Little Cockatiel

A memoir written by KLRabstracts before Chevalterre Nabil, in 28 July 2005.
This poem is dedicated to "Bonita", the family's pet bird. She'd passed on at 0630 on 27 July 2005.
**
----------
**
Our little bird
Our little friend
You were with us
until the end
**
You befriended us
distracting my mother
from her garden
**
I met you while
atop the kitchen table
you were hoppin'
**
We fed you bread crumbs
until you pooped
**
My mother's linens
stained and gooped
**
You needed a home
Grandpa got you a cage
**
We gave you accomodations
You sure didn't smell like sage
**
We called you "bonito"
(sometimes pajilolo)
We thought you were pretty
and a male too
**
We were so ignorant
after seeing
you could lay an egg
...ooh!
**
You were my best friend
for only with me
you'd chirp and dance
**
Whenever I'd pass
you'd caw and prance
**
You wanted to fly
we'd drprived you
of space
**
And trusting me
you perched on my hand
with such grace
**
Clicking and knocking for snacks
Tortillas and pancakes
with you we shared
**
And the doggie just waiting
as your snacks fell
to eat them, he dared!!
**
So much love was shared
I am sure you left
**
But now bits of our hearts
will melt
**
No longer will you
whistle along with the sirens
bark with the dog
**
nor will you
chatter with the crowd
or climb up on your log
**
Remember when
you'd caw the syllables
of my name
**
Each morning
you'd play that
cute little game
**
Blaming the dog
for your mess of bird feed
"wow-wow-wow-wow-wow!"
**
Now he looks for you
wondering,
"She's gone? but how?"
**
We shall solemnly miss
your spunky plumage
and lush, red cheeks
**
And when dad whistles
I'll remember how you'd
sing along with sweet peeps
**
Fairwell our feathered friend
**
Aurevoir my petite and pretty bird
**
Where another cockatiel calls
**
Yours will certainly be heard.
**
**
**

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Tuesday, August 24, 2010

Unsettled Heart

by KLR before Chevalterre Nabil
28 June 2005
**
I don't know what to say
I don't know what to do
I feel like a mess
I feel like a fool
*
So many men with whom I'd lay
So many men that I would do
An easy way of relieving stress
That sleasy joy filling my pool
*
If only it were yesterday
When i still had you
Before I met sex
Our dreams we'd thread into a spool
*
We said we would stay
You said you'd write too
Our paths became so complex
My anxiety and impatience began to rule
*
I'm not yet old nor grey
Longer than a decade, since I saw you
The spool has not unraveled
I long to be in your arms
*
We've headed towards each other's way
Holding me, you missed me too
But our hearts have been graveled
And useless are my charms
*
Please don't let me become astray
I only want to be with you
All these men, they have me mangled
The curse on me must be lifted
*
Send me a sign for me to stay
Do not let me say "adieu"
This anxiety and impatience get me strangled
I'm reaching out for help, to be lifted.
*

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Thursday, August 19, 2010

Military Drug

by Karla/KLRabstracts before Chevalterre Nabil

20 June 2005


*previous publication on Virgogray Press' "Valium" Anthology

and June 2009 issue of Fever News - El Paso, TX' first gay magazine/newspaper.


14


JOINED THE ROTTEN OL' TIN CANS

a. k. a. R. O. T. C.

drills & drills 7 the comaraderie.

I love it

Do I get enough of it?

I'm failing Pre-Cal & Chemistry

So's I quit & keep the chloroforms.


19 1/2


RECRUITED MYSELF INTO THE NAVY

they call me a squid

a shellback I'll become

I love it

Goin' from green to blue

I'm losin' weight, keepin' in shape

2 to 3 hours a day to skip the lunch plate.


19 3/4


GET FLOWN TO THE GREAT MISTAKES

a.k.a. Illinois' Great Lakes

cold & windy

I love it

El Paso my home? What's that?

Service week in the galley washin' dishes & racks

A L. A. chola didn't watch my back

So's I broke my back. Can I make it?


almost 20


GOIN' ACROSS THE STREET TO N.T.C.

finally graduated B.T.C.

I'm completely lost

I love it!

So's I make out by the lake

& freestyle dance with a date.


20


EARNED A 2-WEEK BREAT & VISIT THE FAMILY

they told me they were improving?

I hate it!

they just keep on fighting

So's I party

'till my next duty station


still @ 20


FLOWN TO JAPAN, LAND OF MACROSS & SAILORMOON

nothing but colorful manga & anime

I love it!

because I can drink

KAMPAI!

So's I learned in Yokosuka

there's no concept of zero.


21


I'VE BEEN TO RUSSIA, CHINA, KOREA,

Singapore, Bali, Guam, Australia

I love it!

can't get enough of it, love.

So's I shop & drink & dance my liberty away

bust my arse 'till I hurt my back again.


22


I'M NOT THIN ANYMORE

the pounds I've gained -- galore!

I've been pushin' the Xenedrine!

gettin' my Anthrax & Percocet!

So's I shake in my sleep

Motrin's tasteless candy &

Black gum has Nicotine?

I used to not smoke!


22 1/2


SURVIVED SEEIN' WRITE & JOHNSON'S

live amputation...

because of 2, 4, 6, 8 -

thousand mistakes

We don't appreciate.

So's I shake in my sleep & dream of healing

I loved those guys

& hate that they're gone.


23


ONCE A MONTH, LEARNIN' TO DANCE SEXY SALSA

sleepin' with nice rich European men

I love it

get too much of it

So's I wanna find love

in the land of the crimson sun.


24


MY EX-BOYFRIENDS WANT ME BACK

I feel so outta wack!

I loath it!

Cannot stand it! ...

They can't love me...

So's I get peshed off my wankin' knickers...

So's I go ride horses cause they're

such good kickers -- Wooh!


24 3/4


SINKIN' LIKE ARSE

have no privacy? no liberty!

Everyone wants a piece of me...

I HATE IT

GONNA LOSE IT!

So's I stop:

... I forgot to jump overboard

I have 3 months left...

there is life after death.


25


BEEN BACK HOME

"Hell Paso" they call it.

I love it.

I missed it

So's I get some jobs

pay the bills.


26


WORKIN' FOR THE MINIMUM

these easy skate jobs & teenagers

call 'em careers?!

I'm bored

needing a challenge

So's I sign up for the Guard -- HOOAH!


26 1/2


LOSIN' WEIGHT, KEEPIN' IN SHAPE

It's too damn easy!

... but wait!!


I just turned 27

I'm in Kentucky's Ft. Knox

can't even go to the 7-11


I could run in El Paso

My body's in shock

I feel like a fatso


Recruiters & MEPS deprived me of training

I am in numbing pain

Pills & drugs come pouring down like raining


Lord Almighty

what have I done?

A WAR inside me

has begun!


Green to Blue

Blue to Green

there are some differences

I have seen.


Only one thing

just won't change:


That "Military Drug"


YOU LOVE IT

YOU WANT IT?


I won't be a hypocrite

tell you to not join

this is only

a fraction of my story


So's all I can say is,

"Getcha Some!"