Black August Video

Video recorded 7 Dec, 2013 - original poem previously blogged 1 Aug, 2013

Rap4Peace - Recorded Video

Original Blog - on Calendar Menu: Feb. 2013
Enjoy & Hope you like it!

   

9-11

this took me 12 years to write...

the phone call to his BEQ at 0200
flashes of the towers on the television
I asked why he was watching a movie
he said, "I gotta drop you off at the ship"
my chest pounded with the news
wiping the sleep that blinded me
my eyes saw -
The Twin Towers...
my ears rang hard at the sound of -
The Pentagon...
and I wondered, what about the Borders?
in my gut, I was certain of schemes
barriers already put up
the sight of sand-colored camos shaking hands with khakis
at the Kitty Hawk Pier frightened me...
my face drenched, not by rain
my bag at the Blue Ridge pier,
not checked 100%
I was the first in the Admin department to return to the ship.
Since Gauthier was shore duty YN2,
shore duty Admin got the first phone calls.
letting go of the comfort
of our somber disturbed...
awake 48 hrs in the office
we'd been glued to the TV screens
we yearned to be there.
yearned to help & rescue.
We had a ship to refurbish.
Watches to stand.
Guns to man.
I prayed
I wished
to never shoot to kill.
Prayers get answered.
Wishes come true.

9-11, not relived
just not forgotten.

Took me 12 years to write this shit.

A Morning Chat on Badoo

Love - is not an action.
Love is a way of Life.

 -- many have been, are, will be
husbands,
boyfriends,
lovers,
boy toys,
etc...

 just acting out a stupid role -

but they never achieve being
confidents or best friends.

because they never truly love --
they hate people
for simply understanding
for showing unconditional love.

they have tried everything
to manifest their hatred.

 Love - is not an action.
Love is a way of Life.
The Gurl — 10:52

so what are you looking for here?

The Fella — 10:53

 I am looking for a woman to love, you?

The Gurl  — 10:53

what is love to you?

The Fella— 11:00

caring, honesty, faithful, understanding
     

- what's love to you?

The Gurl — 11:02

love is a way of life.

The Gurl  — 11:08

;) (she winks)

The Fella — 11:25

hmmmmmnnn

The Fella — 11:26

and what do you want on here?

The Gurl  — 12:07

my best friend

The Fella — 12:12

you dont want anything more?

- why?

The Gurl  — 12:13

don't limit your way of thinking

The Fella — 12:14

how?

The Gurl  — 12:15

  -- many have been, are, will be
husbands,
boyfriends,
lovers,
boy toys,
etc...

 just acting out a stupid role -

but they never achieve being
confidents or best friends.

because they never truly love --
they hate people
for simply understanding
for showing unconditional love.

they have tried everything
to manifest their hatred.
 Love - is not an action.
Love is a way of Life.

The Fella — 12:18

hmmmnn...
 - those words are wise

The Gurl  — 12:21

after many things I've been through.
I didn't "let myself" be had,
I didn't act out on my suicidal thoughts,
I never sought out revenge,
I rescued myself,
I've gained and regained focus
- processed the metanoia
-- I'm still standing.

so when an individual
just won't be a friend to begin with,

I'm out!

The Fella — 12:33

ok, I got you

 

- you are pretty wise honest woman

 

 - I like that

The Gurl  — 12:35

:''> (she blushes)

The Fella — 12:47

really?

The Gurl  — 12:47

lol

   

well yes really you made me blush!

15 Aug. 2013 by Chevalterre Nabil, The Gurl age 35, and The Fella at age 45.

Pear Coccoon

Pretty

Pretty

Pretty Pear

your body so lovely
your shape is rare

a shade of green
brown speckles and stem

how was one to know
within you was a gem?

Pretty

Pretty

Pretty Pear

sweet are your juices
splashing onto my hair

the deeper I bight
more of the earth I taste

gushing delight
but what is this earthy aftertaste?

within you a chrysalis
within you a cocoon
within you had been a caterpillar
within you a mother's womb

I lament to have eaten you
I lament to have tasted you
I lament to have mistaken you
for a deform-ed seed...

You would have become
Gaia's interweaving
Gaia's macramé ...

with pairs of wings
to fly and flutter

a sight on my eyes
to caress
like bread under butter

you did not say a word
you were so still

you would have been a silky bird
the taste on my teeth is shrill

forgive me would be butterfly
forgive me would be moth

I shall dream of you in flight
I shall dream of your host's delight

My Pear Coccoon,
rest in peace
good night.

Chevalterre Nabil
15 Aug 2013, 2a.m.

Black August

Black is Beauty

Black as rain

Black is Solitude

Black is the solemn pain

gradually seeping

through my being

unallowed to enter my crimson core

allowed to dispurse out to nowhere

never...

let it absorb all the colors...

they each

Vermillion



Gold

Emerald

Indigo

Haze grey

... they each

 out - stretched

as I stretch this morning.

with my arms up high

towards the sun.

The ever-loving sun.

Holy Trinity.

Core of the Milky Way.

All these colors

dispursed...

speckled...

speckled sun kisses...

zesty ginger on my sushi.
speckled sesame seeds on top
tickling taste buds.
Black sesame seeds

colors amidst the Black.

Black Turkish Rose
little black rose buds.

Black caresses my heart.

It does not enter.

-- Chevalterre Nabil
1AUG2013
11a.m.

Dedication to Erick Djerf, 1963-2010

Facebook Note of 9:20p.m., 31July2013
"better to have lost in love,
than never to have loved at all",
 it is said...
but it is also terribly cruel.
 I cannot
(and don't think I want to)
get over the loss of an ex,
not the way that he passed.
He was afraid,
and endured pain
for God knows how many years
- Still he loved God,
 his life,
 all his friends...
he'd been a great jazz musician,
artist and art teacher.

Maybe having watched
those Twighlight Zone movies was a sign?
Meh!
We loved watching
good old-fashioned sci-fi.
How we'd met was spontaneous,
out of an open mic during Mardi Gras 2008.
He asked me out,
picked me up from a drawing class
out of an underground ronchy venue
in Downtown.
We'd spent two weeks together
and learned a lot about each other...

He'd written before he left this realm,
I treated him as if I would maybe
get to talk to him again...

Today, I saw his name tagged,
 and thought I would tell him 'hello'....

 The pain of this mourning
is gradually seeping.
It is okay.
He didn't deserve to suffer
his bipolar pains.
He deserves to rest in peace.
He passed 3 years ago,
and I just found out today.
It's the first time
I lose someone this close,
I have to devote some more work
in his honor.

Facebook Note of 5:30p.m. & My Last Letter to Erick - 31July2013

You are not an abandoned soul
out in the middle of the desert...
You were never that monster
you were afraid to become...
You were my muse,
My Life,
My Love,
and My Everything...
you were supposed to remain,
annoyingly adorable ex...
... We'd watched our films
of Sci-Fi
in Black & White...
I giggled about your cat,
begging us for breakfast.
We were neighbors,
and delicious lovers.

For you, in those two weeks we were together,
I wrote:

 "Arms embracing like arboles branches
reaching for the sol

 Skin glistening like the luna
reflecting off the ojas

 Kisses pecking like striped bumbles
hopping upon petalos

 Bodies in rhythm like avejas
drinking sweet nectar

 Lluvia from the sky
falling into the tierra

 absorbing sacredly."

 -- Praying With My Love, 2008

(although I read it to you one night,

you may have or never have heard it...

but people have been enjoying it)

 ... we went to church one time.

two years later you had written to apologize.

That monster within had torn us apart.

Your spirit shall always be cherished.

Erick Djerf, you are a beautiful soul
wherever & whenever you may be.

Love, Karla Lopez

 

*The story of his passing.

How do you see that child?

just kindly sharing, and although we don't know each other... careful what you wish upon a child (your own or not)
I was a happy skinny little girl. ate well, slept well... my dad used to keep picking on me about my size. and as I kept growing more healthy... and things in the family would slowly go downward... being a healthier size, and now showing so much bones then turned into being picked on for not being so skinny. It was awkward. by the age of 10, problems in the family had already kick started my depression. so to the point that subconsciously the eating habits were no longer on that happy healthy level. Fast forward to 1997, as I joined the Armed Forces - I barely made it in weighing just 4 lbs over my maximum weight. Stress made me gain weight, surgeries made me retain many fluids. I ballooned from a moderate 175 lbs to 215 lbs. Little by little after I fulfilled my contract, honorably discharged - My body took on it's natural form. Let's call it a rebirth. I'm over all the things I went through in my 20's. Going into my 30's I'm blessed, working whenever scheduled as a model in art classes. Despite all the comments people/society continuously makes towards one another about the way they look. It's not about your intentions or wishes. Instead, if you will, please consider your tendencies of thinking & speaking & writing.
"All she needs is a little more meat on her bones", was repeated to me... I would have been a different kind of model, or even better - would have been able to work more time in the Military. Had that phrase Never been said to me.
I live a happier life because I choose to. Not because anyone else wished it for me.
- See yourself and others well.

KLR's Rap 2013

Gimme a Beat!
..Well... !

Here's a little story, I'd like to tell

about some stupid little people that like to give me hell!

They show a lot of hatred, and scare my friends away,

but I gotta kick them outta my life, as soon as Today!

Some are in my family, some call themselves my friends

but they don't really love, and practice ill trends.

When I catch them in their act

behaving so stupid, and talking so dumb.

They expect me to be emotional,

but I just feel so numb!

I wanna have a good day, I wanna have fun

don't mean to be astray, please tell me a joke - share a pun!

These stupid people in my past can make me mad.

I feel that if I kick them out, it may make me glad.

I'd rather hang with my pals

amazing dudes and gals

they dance and play

are straight, some gay
they are colorful and natural

musical and cultural

of different creeds

doing good deeds

share veggie feeds

planting good seeds!

They write a lot of poetry

and spread the good word.

They deserve attention, y'all and need to be heard.

You see, I used to live in silence

I used to be a mute

And once I started making friends

They showed me I was alright, and kinda cute!

I opened up to giggle, let out a little laugh

drawing triangles and circles on paper of graph

when I started writing I was as sad as Poe

I didn't want nobody treating me like a ho!

These people of hate are still in my life

so bare with me please,

on my own I go through this strife!

I wish you didn't know, I hope it doesn't show

I feel so damn depressed, this illness needs to go.

I can pray and meditate, that's just not enough

if this happens to you.. it's not tough
to get up - Stay Up!

I'll show you how it's done --

Click "delete", don't accept defeat

when they call, throw the curve ball

Keep them outta your house and wish them well.

They can drag their little tails.

Too bad, oh well!

I had a hard time writing this

now there is silence and bliss.

listen up and understand

that "no" means "no"
As in, if someone says "no thank you",

"you're alright, I'm good",
Or if they're just quiet and show a smile

You know it's all good.

Just learn to back off, be at peace with yourself.

If you keep giving hell, then go seek Help!

Look deep within yourself and realize

We all have our agendas

we each have a demise

Don't aim it towards nobody, do not impose on them.

Learn to live, learn to love

Within you is a gem.

Feel it near, see it clear.

And be disturbed no more....

Peace! Yo!

Have a Nice Day. :D