Simple Silver

Chevalterre Nabil
- 24 OCT 2014
----------------------
I was raised by Bizarro
Thus, ...
Bizarre things I am used to.
...
the Silver Linings of Life
only make things simpler...
...
Simplicities of Life
Light my path
quite rather Brighter...
...
My girlfriend Simplicity
fed me Silver.
First taste was light.
...
Changes are slight.
Muscular at first, it seems.
Collarbones used to Never,
ever hurt
while I coughed.
...
My throat rejected a vitamin ...
I choked on it last Tuesday...
airway blocked
by a dissolving vitamin
tried the nose
blocked by congestions
in lieu of allergens
spraying through the air
dissolve, vitamin
vitamin, dissolve
while my mind
is in mind
the soul shan't travel
no.
not far at all...
Save YOURSELF
Your self is safe:
saved myself...
the process of pains
ever so different
has it become...
...
anxiety without attacks
memories without seizing flashbacks!
...
a new kind of yearning
a new sort of sorrow
a new type of euphoria
a new emotion which has not been named!
...
all of my auras are embraced
tickled and caressed
have you hugged someone lately?
Beginning With Yourself!!!
...
it's only getting harder
to find or connect with any lover.
Too lonely.
I somehow had sought...
for a long time. ...
I yearn to hear your voice.
...
you may forget to call
you may neglect to fall
head over heels
over the one thing you want from me...
the blood thirsts for its own blood
left... yo left...
yo left, right...
in and out the ventricles...
pumpin' through our arteries and veins...
...
will we match?
we're each a good catch.
...
You'll never have to say you
Love Me.
I already knew you Did.

RED ... parts I & II

complete piece written in July of 2005

by KLRabstracts before Chevalterre Nabil

-----

---

-----

Red it bleeds

Red it drips

**

I wipe away at my nose

with my fingertips

**

The concrete

as I knelt

**

strangely, no cut

I felt

**

As I rose

to stand erect

**

That bright red

was quite direct

**

A child I was

sad and sobbing

**

The hot red

pressure throbbing

**

Chasing a boy

while riding a bike

**

Falling to my knee

the red did like

**

Through tiny pores

like little ants

**

Yellow they turned

infected under my pants

**

The stinging stain

embarrassed me

**

In summer school,

figured out its chemistry

**

The red

during puberty

**

Did not infect

my purity.

**

*<..._____-----...<*>...-----_____...>*

**

True heartache,

open wounds

**

Empty flesh hollows

Red-covered tombs

**

In shock I was

the period seized

**

The red not coming

I was not pleased

**

Heart and knuckles

in red are tarred

**

Forever

they are scarred

**

On the job

grey dust turns red

**

Through my respirator,

dizziness in my head

**

I pray at church

they serve me red

**

I eat my dumplings

they serve me red

**

I can breathe

but red comes out

**

Plasma, blood clots

I curse and shout

**

My paranoia

lurks and hides

**

For thirty days

red spills from all sides

**

Deep breathing

Deep meditation

**

Controlling the bleeding

no slack or hesitation

**

The red flows

as it is meant to be

**

Distastefully,

it is a curse to me

**

the Red

inside me boils

**

All the clothing

it soils

**

I cannot continue

eve or day

**

Without some red

spilling away

**

I fear

when in private

**

If you see it

I want to hide it

**

You ask me why

I fear the Red

**

It is a danger

inside my head

**

Like a trigger

for a bull

**

Red restrains me

into a lull.

**

Bonita Little Cockatiel

A memoir written by KLRabstracts before Chevalterre Nabil, in 28 July 2005.

This poem is dedicated to "Bonita", the family's pet bird. She'd passed on at 0630 on 27 July 2005.

**

----------

**

Our little bird

Our little friend

You were with us

until the end

**

You befriended us

distracting my mother

from her garden

**

I met you while

atop the kitchen table

you were hoppin'

**

We fed you bread crumbs

until you pooped

**

My mother's linens

stained and gooped

**

You needed a home

Grandpa got you a cage

**

We gave you accomodations

You sure didn't smell like sage

**

We called you "bonito"

(sometimes pajilolo)

We thought you were pretty

and a male too

**

We were so ignorant

after seeing

you could lay an egg

...ooh!

**

You were my best friend

for only with me

you'd chirp and dance

**

Whenever I'd pass

you'd caw and prance

**

You wanted to fly

we'd drprived you

of space

**

And trusting me

you perched on my hand

with such grace

**

Clicking and knocking for snacks

Tortillas and pancakes

with you we shared

**

And the doggie just waiting

as your snacks fell

to eat them, he dared!!

**

So much love was shared

I am sure you left

**

But now bits of our hearts

will melt

**

No longer will you

whistle along with the sirens

bark with the dog

**

nor will you

chatter with the crowd

or climb up on your log

**

Remember when

you'd caw the syllables

of my name

**

Each morning

you'd play that

cute little game

**

Blaming the dog

for your mess of bird feed

"wow-wow-wow-wow-wow!"

**

Now he looks for you

wondering,

"She's gone? but how?"

**

We shall solemnly miss

your spunky plumage

and lush, red cheeks

**

And when dad whistles

I'll remember how you'd

sing along with sweet peeps

**

Fairwell our feathered friend

**

Aurevoir my petite and pretty bird

**

Where another cockatiel calls

**

Yours will certainly be heard.

**

**

**

Military Drug

by Karla/KLRabstracts before Chevalterre Nabil

20 June 2005

*previous publication on Virgogray Press' "Valium" Anthology

and June 2009 issue of Fever News - El Paso, TX' first gay magazine/newspaper.

14

JOINED THE ROTTEN OL' TIN CANS

a. k. a. R. O. T. C.

drills & drills 7 the comaraderie.

I love it

Do I get enough of it?

I'm failing Pre-Cal & Chemistry

So's I quit & keep the chloroforms.

19 1/2

RECRUITED MYSELF INTO THE NAVY

they call me a squid

a shellback I'll become

I love it

Goin' from green to blue

I'm losin' weight, keepin' in shape

2 to 3 hours a day to skip the lunch plate.

19 3/4

GET FLOWN TO THE GREAT MISTAKES

a.k.a. Illinois' Great Lakes

cold & windy

I love it

El Paso my home? What's that?

Service week in the galley washin' dishes & racks

A L. A. chola didn't watch my back

So's I broke my back. Can I make it?

almost 20

GOIN' ACROSS THE STREET TO N.T.C.

finally graduated B.T.C.

I'm completely lost

I love it!

So's I make out by the lake

& freestyle dance with a date.

20

EARNED A 2-WEEK BREAT & VISIT THE FAMILY

they told me they were improving?

I hate it!

they just keep on fighting

So's I party

'till my next duty station

still @ 20

FLOWN TO JAPAN, LAND OF MACROSS & SAILORMOON

nothing but colorful manga & anime

I love it!

because I can drink

KAMPAI!

So's I learned in Yokosuka

there's no concept of zero.

21

I'VE BEEN TO RUSSIA, CHINA, KOREA,

Singapore, Bali, Guam, Australia

I love it!

can't get enough of it, love.

So's I shop & drink & dance my liberty away

bust my arse 'till I hurt my back again.

22

I'M NOT THIN ANYMORE

the pounds I've gained -- galore!

I've been pushin' the Xenedrine!

gettin' my Anthrax & Percocet!

So's I shake in my sleep

Motrin's tasteless candy &

Black gum has Nicotine?

I used to not smoke!

22 1/2

SURVIVED SEEIN' WRITE & JOHNSON'S

live amputation...

because of 2, 4, 6, 8 -

thousand mistakes

We don't appreciate.

So's I shake in my sleep & dream of healing

I loved those guys

& hate that they're gone.

23

ONCE A MONTH, LEARNIN' TO DANCE SEXY SALSA

sleepin' with nice rich European men

I love it

get too much of it

So's I wanna find love

in the land of the crimson sun.

24

MY EX-BOYFRIENDS WANT ME BACK

I feel so outta wack!

I loath it!

Cannot stand it! ...

They can't love me...

So's I get peshed off my wankin' knickers...

So's I go ride horses cause they're

such good kickers -- Wooh!

24 3/4

SINKIN' LIKE ARSE

have no privacy? no liberty!

Everyone wants a piece of me...

I HATE IT

GONNA LOSE IT!

So's I stop:

... I forgot to jump overboard

I have 3 months left...

there is life after death.

25

BEEN BACK HOME

"Hell Paso" they call it.

I love it.

I missed it

So's I get some jobs

pay the bills.

26

WORKIN' FOR THE MINIMUM

these easy skate jobs & teenagers

call 'em careers?!

I'm bored

needing a challenge

So's I sign up for the Guard -- HOOAH!

26 1/2

LOSIN' WEIGHT, KEEPIN' IN SHAPE

It's too damn easy!

... but wait!!

I just turned 27

I'm in Kentucky's Ft. Knox

can't even go to the 7-11

I could run in El Paso

My body's in shock

I feel like a fatso

Recruiters & MEPS deprived me of training

I am in numbing pain

Pills & drugs come pouring down like raining

Lord Almighty

what have I done?

A WAR inside me

has begun!

Green to Blue

Blue to Green

there are some differences

I have seen.

Only one thing

just won't change:

That "Military Drug"

YOU LOVE IT

YOU WANT IT?

I won't be a hypocrite

tell you to not join

this is only

a fraction of my story

So's all I can say is,

"Getcha Some!"