Talk to Me

Leo

where are you?

how have you been?

I wish I could

meet

see

your twin girls

they've grown so much

as shown

in your facebook albums

please call me

this is my number

why don't you bug me?

reminisce

back when you'd

give me a sprite

out of your pocket

friendship at first smile

I was just a meek Sailor girl

baking the breakfast doughnuts

washing dishpans

serving coffee to officers

officers who's files

you and I would manage

with our asses
in utilities
in utility!

how'd we manage

to still be friends?

13 years now

you should be my "gordo"

I dunno, heh!

thinking about you

every now

and again

It's nice

sweet was your skin

across my flesh

that t-shirt in the Korean market

read "merge"

I have it in storage

those cool Japanese breezes
our messing around
by Mikasa park

3 a.m.

love at first fondle

you did it right

you were my friend first

you took your time

you rocked my boat

we fucking rocked the boat!

Heavy Hong Kong waves!!!

walking on bulkheads

dancing on non-skid

polite glances

on the smoke deck

in our hotel rooms
in your quarters

we glided

freshly showered

white and dark Mexican Americans

making sweet Japanese love

9-11 attack
you and I were together
you and I were together

YOU AND I

WERE

TOGETHER!

anywho...

I have to gather

my files

medical

start filing

a claim
visit the VA

I'm old

not so tired

love being alive

I love you, too.

I'm tired of being stereotyped

in my favor

because I look Mexican

so Indian

get called "Señora"

by the Sun Metro drivers

as if

I were confused

diffused

by the fronchih feds
pushin 'em to migrate north
can't blame the señoras
for not wanting to change their ways
they're whiter than ME
yet

we all ride

the same journey

cleaning houses

carrying

bright blue

Wally World bags

I get paid well to clean houses

because of my prior experience

and because of how I look...

I stereotype myself

" : " + " ( " = frown
(colon plus open parenthis)

almost got run over

last week

and wrote about it

I found my old quals
paperwork
it made me look good

for advancement

they triggered

a time travel

to the days

of when I was more agile than agile

thought I was brighter than bright

and more loving than love could be

living abroad

I felt so free

so I assumed

life would continue to be

I was cheated and robbed

hated just to be hated

slapped against the head

my Military name

erased each day

from the office white board roster

I filled in the blank

"wallflower"

they hated me more

for not acting like a hoe

for trying to be such a clean pro

the rebel foe

friend to those who love

We'd bust our asses

bust our asses

bust asses

bust our brains

bust brains

rack our brains

get brain racked in our racks

rocked to sleep in our racks

my brain is racked...

the shakes returned

60-hour anxiety

gradually attacking

my system

slowing me down

I slowly reach

to pull the lever

to return to this year

this day...

open a cabinet

and take some vitamins

C... multi... E

anything healthy

to ease the cerebral noise

I done better

I have been better

I'm supposed to be passed this shit

closure was reached

but the stitches came undone

I had to go out dancing
one last time
May 15 2002
in Roppongi

after my bottom left wisdom tooth

and I felt the threads

slowly stretching

they came undone

I've come undone

I want no more

I've redone myself

renewed myself

revived myself

yet the shit still stinks

embedded

too vividly

in my grey matter

wrinkles

neurons shock

ears ring

ears hiss

ears ring

I want to hear a ring

the ring of my phone

call me

Please

Talk to me