I.D.W.M.M.

Note to anyone reading:

** Always research thoroughly before creating.

*We all deserve to live well and be well...


" I Don't Wear MAC Makeup"
by KLR/Chevalterre Nabil

Mujer fronteriza
Las Hnas. Mulleavy
con su linea cosmetica Rodarte
al juntarse con la Co. MAC
quisieron recordarte
que siempre hay
quienes quieren matarte

and they say they are sorry
they are so fucking sorry...

This might be how it went...

"Oye Kate...
Si Laura?
no te gusta SoCal?
Ay si mucho...

Vamos al cine.
Okay, sister!

Ay... la J-Lo
looks so hot
in this movie - Bordertown...

J-Lo's Latina?
Mexicana?
Ay, who cares...
Estoy inspirada!

Nosotras decender del Zacate...
No hermana...
El Abuelo decirnos que Zacatecas!

Y le llamamos a MAC!
oh, what fun!!"

... but The Frisky bloggers
figured you out
ratted you out
Rodarte -
par de mensas

And Thank You,
Teresa Puente
for your powerful
Chicanisima blog
on ChicagoNow.com

The recalled items...
Nail Polishes
Blushes
and Lip Sticks

in the ugliest colors
with the worst titles:
- Ghost Town
- Juarez
- Factory
- Del Norte
- Borderlands
- Border Town
- Sleepwalker...

Glamorizing violence (2x)

don't get it yet?

te digo mujer...
Las Mulleavy-Rodarte
quieren recordarte
que hay todavia
quienes quieren
y pueden matarte

te vas a dejar? (2x)
y las vas a dejar?

No compres MAC makeup...
si no dejaras a su sistema ganar

Don't let 'em win...

capitalizing
and promoting War (2x)

their colors of War.

They tried to claim proceeds went to charity
They're not right here
en la frontera
to see with clarity

Kate et Laura...
Ferme sa bouche
et la boutique
tu est beauf
stupid Rodarte line

Ferme sa bouche
et la boutique
tu est beauf
stupid MAC makeup

ooh...
pique toi
MAC makeup (2x)

And we women of the US-Mexico border
Reside in Juaritos
Reside in El Chuco!
We Survive
We're Strong
Strive
Again, We are Alive!

Yeah, call me a freak bitch, baby...
I don't wear Rodarte/MAC makeup.

Day of the Dead

Chevalterre Nabil (Karla)
Reading with Rincon Bohemio...








the poem performed by Chevalterre Nabil is titled "Prayer to Lord Yama"
I truly hope that anyone reading gets a better understanding of the Holiday known as Dia de los Muertos.

The Monster Love of My Life

written at Tumblewords Project
by Chevalterre Nabil 2 Oct 2010

(--\../--)

\..\/../

\..../

V

presentation by Robin Scofield
Robin notes:
"Away of writing:
Writing is one of the free ways of human activities"

To love him would be stupid

I love him
yet I forgive him (5x)

... because I hate him...

No I love him.
He's still human,
after all his evil
demonic-animal ways

To love him would be stupid

His disfunctional brain
he's still a human.
- cruel intentions
he's still human

Though he's violated
me in every way possible...

To love him would be stupid.

a forced kiss on the lips
- I was 5
a fondle
- I was 9
he locked me in my own playhouse
- I was 8
he'd pushed me to the ground
- I was 6
he bragged to his friends
about how good I was to my boyfriend
- I was 14
he abandoned me on a Juarez ruta-bus
- I was 15

To love him would be stupid.

He'd targeted
and hated me (5x)

all my life
Yet I've been through worse shit
than his shit

fie years ago
he'd stolen my identity
- I received a bill
about a phone line
in Colorado where
he'd resided for ten years

As soon as I reported him
He packed his bags
and moved into our mother's house.

Yes... (2x)

To love him would be stupid.

My brother
my own flesh and blood
and dare I blog
and publish this story
it documents
all the turmoil
he's caused in my life...

but even after the 1980's molestation...
I forgave him...

He thought he'd controlled me (3x)

He thought he'd controlled his:
ex-wife
our mother
our grandmother
our bloodline
his girlfriend...
... curse Her witchcraft,
and they lie calling themselves
Christians-uh!

To love him would be stupid.

To love him would mean
he gets away with his crimes.

I forgive him...
because he has seen
he cannot break me.
he has seen
how Family fortifies and bonds
he has seen that
should he keep ACTING
he gains more
positive support
attention and love
from us all...

I warn to our Madre...
cuidado -
To love him would be stupid
- cuidado
because I love him too.

Yet I forgive him...
He will pay his own debts.

Love Sick, Sick Love

Written 16 Oct 2010, at Tumblewords Project
by Chevalterre Nabil

presentation theme: Morrissey State of Mind
discussion: Steven Patrick Morrissey as the writer and poet/lyricist vs. the musician.

Notes: And the day's weathers have been wonderful all day.

And I love them

then I hate them

I love them

they hate me

They love me mad

They love me madly

They love me dearly mad

and madly

Their dreadful love

I too - do love

My unconditional love

Their morbid love

filled with conditions

ammunitions

aimed at me

at each other

conditioned ammo

fire away!

They shoot loving

deadly words

past their lips

lying...

I don't say it to hurt you.

Their mouths of machine guns

repeating those hurtful words

- Take them like salt

it stings.

- Take them like sugar

it corrodes.

- Take them like fried rice

it fattens

oh, little fattie:

You're too dark.

Change your hair.

Get married already

or get two boyfriends...

I control you

control you...

and like their eldest offspring...

Me being the youngest...

My twin born five years before me

... slick back our hair

Remove my feminine makeup...

we each look the same

since our births.

Always quiet...

loners?

But when our physical creators

are out hunting each other

down

down

down

all over town

My healthy sibling and I

at different ends...

control our child-like bloodline...

Raise an eye-brow...

No fighting

No cursing

No pushing

No shoving...

Absolutely no abuse allowed!

Treat the monsters sweetly...

They forget their invisible worries...

Color their world pleasently...

And we can sit in Mother's garden

in the family picnic.

Always being aware...

for when there's an offset

one, two, or all three of them explode...

Meanwhile...

live the unrealistic fantasy out

for each of them...

While they still think they're controlling you,

themselves,

and each other.

Uncesored Friendship (anecdote)

Cinnamon/Canela

This was originally a signature I used to use on my hotmail e-mails.

Originally written in 2001, while I was in the U. S. Navy.

**

Happy Labor Day!!

**

Cinnamon...

Add it to your java

It makes you warm like lava

And as you take a swallow

It fills you not to hollow.

**

===========

**

Canela...

Agregale a tu java

Te calienta como lava

Y cuando des un trago

Te llena como un profundo lago.

**

=====

**

===

Crush on the English Teacher

This is a memoir...Though the thought and feeling does not apply, as I'd reunited with Mr. Herrera from my Jr. High school two years ago, I still dedicate this to him... And it is because of him that I am a writer!

-- 12 Aug. 2005, by KLR before Chevalterre Nabil

**

**

I have a crush on my English teacher

**

All the others hate him

because he's such a preacher

**

Discipline in writing

is what he asked for

**

The 'A' plus on my paper

is what I'm glad...

**

For,

I have a crush

on my English instructor

**

Each day I attend class

music inside me is played

by the chore conductor.

**

**

..... pop quiz: after having read this poem, leave the answer in the comments.

The question is: what is the "chore conductor"

Clue 1: referred from the title
Clue 2: it's an organ

Bus/Ruta- un petit poem

Un petit poem de KLR avant Chevalterre Nabil

12 Aug 2005

**

..._=-`\/'-=_...

**

I Missed the Bus

-----

Sitting & waiting

After two hours

It's late.

**

Looking & asking

Oh!

On the opposite side?

I missed my date!

**

..._=-`\/'-=_...

**

Se Paso la Ruta

-----

Sentada, esperando

Se hace tarde

Despues de dos horas

**

Busco, preguntando

?Paso del otro lado?

!Mejor ni me enfado!

**

..._=-`\/'-=_...

Rain :: Lluvia

Pour KLR et Chevalterre Nabil
C'est un petit poem q'el s'appelle:

RAIN
------
Rain
It drips
**
Rain
It pours
**
A kiss
from your lips
**
And my heart
is yours.
-----
<'^~-_____-->+<--_____-~^'>
-----
LLUVIA
---------
Lluvia
chorrea
**
Lluvia
gotea
**
Atas mi corazon
como una correa
**
Porque tu beso
me tontea
-----
Original illustration by "AutomaticStream"
rendering via Photobucket.com

**

RED ... parts I & II

complete piece written in July of 2005

by KLRabstracts before Chevalterre Nabil

-----

---

-----

Red it bleeds

Red it drips

**

I wipe away at my nose

with my fingertips

**

The concrete

as I knelt

**

strangely, no cut

I felt

**

As I rose

to stand erect

**

That bright red

was quite direct

**

A child I was

sad and sobbing

**

The hot red

pressure throbbing

**

Chasing a boy

while riding a bike

**

Falling to my knee

the red did like

**

Through tiny pores

like little ants

**

Yellow they turned

infected under my pants

**

The stinging stain

embarrassed me

**

In summer school,

figured out its chemistry

**

The red

during puberty

**

Did not infect

my purity.

**

*<..._____-----...<*>...-----_____...>*

**

True heartache,

open wounds

**

Empty flesh hollows

Red-covered tombs

**

In shock I was

the period seized

**

The red not coming

I was not pleased

**

Heart and knuckles

in red are tarred

**

Forever

they are scarred

**

On the job

grey dust turns red

**

Through my respirator,

dizziness in my head

**

I pray at church

they serve me red

**

I eat my dumplings

they serve me red

**

I can breathe

but red comes out

**

Plasma, blood clots

I curse and shout

**

My paranoia

lurks and hides

**

For thirty days

red spills from all sides

**

Deep breathing

Deep meditation

**

Controlling the bleeding

no slack or hesitation

**

The red flows

as it is meant to be

**

Distastefully,

it is a curse to me

**

the Red

inside me boils

**

All the clothing

it soils

**

I cannot continue

eve or day

**

Without some red

spilling away

**

I fear

when in private

**

If you see it

I want to hide it

**

You ask me why

I fear the Red

**

It is a danger

inside my head

**

Like a trigger

for a bull

**

Red restrains me

into a lull.

**

Bonita Little Cockatiel

A memoir written by KLRabstracts before Chevalterre Nabil, in 28 July 2005.

This poem is dedicated to "Bonita", the family's pet bird. She'd passed on at 0630 on 27 July 2005.

**

----------

**

Our little bird

Our little friend

You were with us

until the end

**

You befriended us

distracting my mother

from her garden

**

I met you while

atop the kitchen table

you were hoppin'

**

We fed you bread crumbs

until you pooped

**

My mother's linens

stained and gooped

**

You needed a home

Grandpa got you a cage

**

We gave you accomodations

You sure didn't smell like sage

**

We called you "bonito"

(sometimes pajilolo)

We thought you were pretty

and a male too

**

We were so ignorant

after seeing

you could lay an egg

...ooh!

**

You were my best friend

for only with me

you'd chirp and dance

**

Whenever I'd pass

you'd caw and prance

**

You wanted to fly

we'd drprived you

of space

**

And trusting me

you perched on my hand

with such grace

**

Clicking and knocking for snacks

Tortillas and pancakes

with you we shared

**

And the doggie just waiting

as your snacks fell

to eat them, he dared!!

**

So much love was shared

I am sure you left

**

But now bits of our hearts

will melt

**

No longer will you

whistle along with the sirens

bark with the dog

**

nor will you

chatter with the crowd

or climb up on your log

**

Remember when

you'd caw the syllables

of my name

**

Each morning

you'd play that

cute little game

**

Blaming the dog

for your mess of bird feed

"wow-wow-wow-wow-wow!"

**

Now he looks for you

wondering,

"She's gone? but how?"

**

We shall solemnly miss

your spunky plumage

and lush, red cheeks

**

And when dad whistles

I'll remember how you'd

sing along with sweet peeps

**

Fairwell our feathered friend

**

Aurevoir my petite and pretty bird

**

Where another cockatiel calls

**

Yours will certainly be heard.

**

**

**

Unsettled Heart

by KLR before Chevalterre Nabil

28 June 2005

**

I don't know what to say

I don't know what to do

I feel like a mess

I feel like a fool

*

So many men with whom I'd lay

So many men that I would do

An easy way of relieving stress

That sleasy joy filling my pool

*

If only it were yesterday

When i still had you

Before I met sex

Our dreams we'd thread into a spool

*

We said we would stay

You said you'd write too

Our paths became so complex

My anxiety and impatience began to rule

*

I'm not yet old nor grey

Longer than a decade, since I saw you

The spool has not unraveled

I long to be in your arms

*

We've headed towards each other's way

Holding me, you missed me too

But our hearts have been graveled

And useless are my charms

*

Please don't let me become astray

I only want to be with you

All these men, they have me mangled

The curse on me must be lifted

*

Send me a sign for me to stay

Do not let me say "adieu"

This anxiety and impatience get me strangled

I'm reaching out for help, to be lifted.

*

Military Drug

by Karla/KLRabstracts before Chevalterre Nabil

20 June 2005

*previous publication on Virgogray Press' "Valium" Anthology

and June 2009 issue of Fever News - El Paso, TX' first gay magazine/newspaper.

14

JOINED THE ROTTEN OL' TIN CANS

a. k. a. R. O. T. C.

drills & drills 7 the comaraderie.

I love it

Do I get enough of it?

I'm failing Pre-Cal & Chemistry

So's I quit & keep the chloroforms.

19 1/2

RECRUITED MYSELF INTO THE NAVY

they call me a squid

a shellback I'll become

I love it

Goin' from green to blue

I'm losin' weight, keepin' in shape

2 to 3 hours a day to skip the lunch plate.

19 3/4

GET FLOWN TO THE GREAT MISTAKES

a.k.a. Illinois' Great Lakes

cold & windy

I love it

El Paso my home? What's that?

Service week in the galley washin' dishes & racks

A L. A. chola didn't watch my back

So's I broke my back. Can I make it?

almost 20

GOIN' ACROSS THE STREET TO N.T.C.

finally graduated B.T.C.

I'm completely lost

I love it!

So's I make out by the lake

& freestyle dance with a date.

20

EARNED A 2-WEEK BREAT & VISIT THE FAMILY

they told me they were improving?

I hate it!

they just keep on fighting

So's I party

'till my next duty station

still @ 20

FLOWN TO JAPAN, LAND OF MACROSS & SAILORMOON

nothing but colorful manga & anime

I love it!

because I can drink

KAMPAI!

So's I learned in Yokosuka

there's no concept of zero.

21

I'VE BEEN TO RUSSIA, CHINA, KOREA,

Singapore, Bali, Guam, Australia

I love it!

can't get enough of it, love.

So's I shop & drink & dance my liberty away

bust my arse 'till I hurt my back again.

22

I'M NOT THIN ANYMORE

the pounds I've gained -- galore!

I've been pushin' the Xenedrine!

gettin' my Anthrax & Percocet!

So's I shake in my sleep

Motrin's tasteless candy &

Black gum has Nicotine?

I used to not smoke!

22 1/2

SURVIVED SEEIN' WRITE & JOHNSON'S

live amputation...

because of 2, 4, 6, 8 -

thousand mistakes

We don't appreciate.

So's I shake in my sleep & dream of healing

I loved those guys

& hate that they're gone.

23

ONCE A MONTH, LEARNIN' TO DANCE SEXY SALSA

sleepin' with nice rich European men

I love it

get too much of it

So's I wanna find love

in the land of the crimson sun.

24

MY EX-BOYFRIENDS WANT ME BACK

I feel so outta wack!

I loath it!

Cannot stand it! ...

They can't love me...

So's I get peshed off my wankin' knickers...

So's I go ride horses cause they're

such good kickers -- Wooh!

24 3/4

SINKIN' LIKE ARSE

have no privacy? no liberty!

Everyone wants a piece of me...

I HATE IT

GONNA LOSE IT!

So's I stop:

... I forgot to jump overboard

I have 3 months left...

there is life after death.

25

BEEN BACK HOME

"Hell Paso" they call it.

I love it.

I missed it

So's I get some jobs

pay the bills.

26

WORKIN' FOR THE MINIMUM

these easy skate jobs & teenagers

call 'em careers?!

I'm bored

needing a challenge

So's I sign up for the Guard -- HOOAH!

26 1/2

LOSIN' WEIGHT, KEEPIN' IN SHAPE

It's too damn easy!

... but wait!!

I just turned 27

I'm in Kentucky's Ft. Knox

can't even go to the 7-11

I could run in El Paso

My body's in shock

I feel like a fatso

Recruiters & MEPS deprived me of training

I am in numbing pain

Pills & drugs come pouring down like raining

Lord Almighty

what have I done?

A WAR inside me

has begun!

Green to Blue

Blue to Green

there are some differences

I have seen.

Only one thing

just won't change:

That "Military Drug"

YOU LOVE IT

YOU WANT IT?

I won't be a hypocrite

tell you to not join

this is only

a fraction of my story

So's all I can say is,

"Getcha Some!"

1st FREE HOLE Slam of the 2nd Season

and of course, this is thanks to Free Hole Slam Poets!!

In these videos, you'll see Karla reading for Chevalterre Nabil.

AND OF COURSE HONORABLE MENTION TO:
SERENITY WHO WON THE SLAM!!!
YOU'LL ALSO SEE: FRANK... AND A NEWCOMER






TO VIEW MORE} HTTP://WWW.YOUTUBE.COM/FREEHOLESLAM

Little Untitled Story

Written at TWP 10 July 2010

Bring in your smile
for a while
your rosie cheeks
you present to me
askin' for colors
red...
no!
A brighter red
with a glossy finish
well finish!
Gosh, you're bossy...
I'm gettin' your glitter, babe
and I layer, and layer
with my brush
you feel a rush...

And when it's done
you're more than ready
and willing
to come undone
on the dance floor...

'Cause with me
as you can see

you get your face painted
with my art painted
yes, indeed
on your face

the cherry red
eye-poppin'
bright red
fruits...
yes cherries...

out of all the listed
vast pages
with designs
in the O. P.'s
quiet bar...

on a fantastically
fabulous
Friday night.

C. N. via KLR

Block Party dedication

Written at Tumblewords 10 July 2010

Ode to Sunset Heights Block Party:

Block Party
bohemians...
bikini babes
painted up
painted down
walkin' by
my compadres
and comadres
we
dance
groove
and jive
under the scorching
El Paso sun
our brown-Earth skins
burn...
lovin'
the Sunset Heights block
lovin' each other
belly dancin'
fire dancin'
skateboard dancin'
it's all romancin'

'buy my art
feed my heart'
we call out to
one another...
our neighbors

We sit,
chill...
share
the atmosphere

Our friends' music
all day
we are here
throughout
it's far out
That Sunset Heights
Block Party

were you there?
oh, friend
I was there...

and everyone glowed
in that incense-caressed
atmosphere
as our neighborhood
Sun did set
we each shone
brighter
stronger
in hapiness
harmonious
Our auras shown
in a rainbow's hues
technicolored spirits
and I'd shown
a clear...
light and easy
true blue
At peace
content.

C. N. via KLR

Construction

Inspired by Ruben Alvarado, El Paso Slam Poet from Chicago
He has presented for the first time at Tumblewords Project writing workshop.

The presentation has included the encouragement of natural free flow of writing

with Ruben's Spoen Word declamations and Hip Hop tracks. - 10 June 2010

-----------

Construction's the function

since the day of my birth

384 moons later...

And this moon

shines on the site

and the site grows

it grows...

Machinery...

bull dosers and cranes

dig into our Mother

Earth

She's bare

and naked

alas -- alive

she remains...

As I walk

home

to work

to the coffee shop

museums

libraries

to work...

to work

I'm trying to get there

arrive...

Alarum -

Orange

Barrier -

Orange

The green light says 'yay'

the Orange cones

and yellow tape say 'nay'

But I am not astray

I know there's another way

to detour

the signs do say

As everything

in this vast life

changes

my direction

changes

learning

and relearning

the mind expanding

so do my lungs

expanding

As I inhale

breathing in

the Earth's scent...

in my neighborhood

of Sunset Heights

where...

The Sun and the Moon

do shine upon us

guiding new paths

around the city's refurbishing

El Paso

reconstructing...

Its historical...

Vintage

walkways

Old El Paso

Old Fort Bliss

the former

1920's China Town

Railroads

underground...

Oregon St.

And the construction grows

Alarum - orange

extends

And the nation comprehends

detouring

around and about

Montana...

Rio Grande...

Luna Grande...

shines upon us

shines upon

the naked desert

Earth...

where the alkies hang out...

pass by

slip 'em a nickel

or not at all

'cause they see you everyday

in your everyway

Yeah...

dressed in your brown skin

Earth skin...

bare feet

inside zapatos

still feel...

Her rugged

unlevelled

soil

walk down and up

the rugged path

when everyone sleeps...

and travel to another

world.

C. N. via KLR

La Neta del Planeta

Dedico este poema a mi primo Jaime DL (que en paz descanses),
y nuestra familia sobreviviente.

La neta del planeta
Esque yo no soy profeta
Pero como profeta
Les quisiera decir
Que por favor
Me hagan reir
Anden, todos a sonreir
Que la luz
Nos haga a cada uno
Lucir
Profundamente
Y hasta afuera
Como un juego
De sube y baja
Que nunca baja
Y que no se nos bajen
Los animos
Y las ganas
De sentir,
Vivir,
Alabar,
Añorar,
Gozar,
Y amar…
O Por Dios
Dejame amar!
Con mis compadres y comadres
En un juego de
Por arriba.
Por abajo,
Por un lado,
Por el otro,
Y para donde vamos?
Por cual rumbo damos?
Pos' para viejos que zumbamos
Porque adelante le seguimos
Como Dorotea y sus amigos
Follow the yellow brick road,
Y siguen el yellow brick road,
Siguen y siguen,
Siguen y siguen,
Siguen por ese rumbo
Al destino
Del infinito…
Se atraviesa
Un juego
De hop scotch
Tira tu piedrita
Y dale…
Dos y dos son cuatro,
Cuatro y dos son seis
Seis y dos son ocho
Y ocho diez-y-seis
Es mas,
Agregale diez-y-seis
Y tienes mi exacta edad
Para decir la verdad
Y la verdad es la neta
Que en este planeta
Y como dije
Desde un principio
No nos vamos
A joder
Ni chingar
Ni fregar
El alma
Porque
La venganza
No es buena
Solo envenena
Al igual que el odio
Una mente en vejez
Llena de tristez’
Por abusos,
Vicios
Y tontes
Al pinche demonio
Y deja todo eso atras
Pasa…
La vida pasa
Vivela en paz
En harmonia
Con todo ajeno
Con tranquilidad
Hermandad
En este planeta
Esa’s la neta
Y como profeta
Puesto que
No lo soy,
He dicho ya!

She Wants the Real Thing

Feeling smitten
emotes for a broken heart
to pump a little faster
and feel tickled
Karma starts giggling
sending cute little notes
to the one
who made you feel that way...

But Johnny is mistaken...
Karma's not so easily distracted

Her heart is strong

Johnny assumed
she'd be vulnerable

So Karma's gotta return
these Rose-colored glasses...

It's not personal...
but they have annoyed her.
Rose-colored glasses...
Heh!

She don't want
a wouldbe boyfriend
or woudlbe girlfriend
She wants a partner

She don't want to talk
about future plans
She wants to discuss
current situations
they need to be handled

She don't just want
lunch and a movie
She wants, with Baron
to serve a cause
And share the wealth
with fellow homosapiens

Karma enjoyed
Johnny's light caresses
but not much more is felt
that way
She prefers a firm gesture
a mutual embrace

She don't want to hear
that Johnny don't sing after all...
that after all those talks
he never wrote anything
from the heart

She'd rather co-write
and harmonize
with Baron...
to their rhythms and beats
they can reach out to others
with their souls

She don't want
30-min-reports
of Johnny's insignificant happenings

It makes her sick

Johnny eats out all the time.

Baron appreciates a home cooked meal.

Karma's happy to know...
For when she pays a visit
she doesn't arrive empty-handed

She don't want to hear Johnny
at midnight
jerkin' off
to the beat of his hands

She'd prefer to be with Baron
merging
to the beat of their hearts

Yes, they beat in unison
Yes, they roll together

And why?
Cause she prefers to visit the Rose Garden

Versus hearing -
the empty promise of getting one

Karma don't want a fake romance.

She desires true love.

and she sings to Baron...

"We sound good together
baby
And I knew it
from the start

We can groove together
darlin'
the love grows
straight from our hearts

I don't want
no fake emotions

I don't care for canned pumpkin pie

I want us to fly free
together

and never say goodbye."

Picnic Anecdote

Dedicated to my friend Rachel - Whom I'd met in 1989
And yes Rachel - I too always remember when we were little girls in 5th grade.

"Picnic Anecdote"
Chevalterre Nabil - 19 June 2010

Life...

being such a picnic

All these ants
of different kinds:
green
red
blue
white!
even Brown...

they line up
trailing

encircling
the food

to take it.

I lean in to talk to them
'Friends,
That is my food
I need it'

Some will unite and take chunks out
with all their force
and run away

Some hide pinches
and sneak off
without making a sound

the others move on
to the next cloth
in the park

I can be brighter
and snatch my sandwich away
and then
I don't miss out...

on the flavors
textures on my taste buds
swallowing richness
and feeling nourished.

Otherwise
settling for junk food
makes me run over to the roach coach

then I have lost much more
and gained little.

and those sort of efforts
and lack of effort
do lead to:
weakness
illness

In realizing this:
My body begins to change
morphing...

to one of an ant
I am the queen ant

I rise
and reach out to my troops
get it together

I lead well
as we work as a team

We get just the needed food

avoiding surplus supplies
prevents potential poisoning

With enough supplies
and proper care
we grow stronger.

Monsters in My Life, series of 5 minis

Beginning experiment at Tumblewords Project.
there may be video integrated to each of these.

test run just the written versions for now...

1. We - excited to reunite, embraced
but you yanked at my hair so hard!
As I cried - you were coldly indifferent.
C. N. - 12 June 2010
(this is about a woman pulling my hair at a book reading, and seriously hurting me - later denying the event happened. - she swore she didn't realize it happened.)

2. The phone rings, rings, and rings
while you suffer through your attack
I'm left to talk into your machine.
C. N. - 12 June 2010
(this is about not the person being a monster, but the bipolar monster around him scaring him from communicating with me as a friend - I feel for him.)

3. I wanted to climb the tree
As I slipped and scraped my arms
you stepped back and let me fall.
C. N. - 12 June 2010
(this is about a girl's dad, not preventing her fall from wanting to climb a tree, and later blaming her stubborness. Girls are supposed to trust their fathers.)

4. You delayed our travels
told me to wait for you
and left me behind.
C. N. - 12 June 2010
(this is about a brother downright abandoning his little sister in a foreign country on a public bus, late at night. She saves herself by being aware of her surroundings, and using the closest phone.)

5. You stole a phone
rejoicing in
collecting money to return it.
C. N. - 12 June 2010
(a clue: he's a sociopath)

Behind "IHABR&AIT" and "SGoP"

Research to back up:
"I Had a Bad Romance and Ate it Too"
and
"Saving Grace of Protest"

I do dedicate this to Raquel T. Lynn.
She's suffered the torment of a sociopath
and still does, as they have a child together.

Know the signs of the disorder known as:
Antisocial Personality Disorder

and keep yourself and others Safe.

"The Saving Grace of Protest"

by Chevalterre Nabil

written in 30 minutes

Labor Day 2010

==========

Say it loud

Sait it proud

---

Say it clear

and stay near

---

As you express

and protest

---

the truth

must be confessed

---

there's much love

to be professed

---

Silence isn't gold

All the words

which within you hold

---

Begin to rot

and form to mold

---

For when you're a coward

not at all witty

nor bold

---

Your internal mulch

beginning to seep

and protrude

makes you explode!

---

Those rancid holes

you tend to

and harness

---

You cannot

push me into it

---

As my friends' love

sets me free

---

Their words

of kindness and concern

protest your wicked enchantment

with glee

---

Oh, my beloveds!

for thee

I reach!

---

And say

Thank you!

---

for the shield

formed by

your protesting words

---

And when

I remembered myself

---

and my yearning

for happiness

and freedom

---

which the hating witch

allowed me

so seldom...

---

I embraced the shield

and it broke me free...

---

The witche's enchantment

was one of loathing

and disgust.

---

I'd felt compassion

for him

... we each thought

rescuing each other

was a must

---

But with time

He did drain me

---

So blind I became

I could not seek

---

to pull myself

out of the emotional dungeon

---

and he'd maintained

me there

---

naked and bare

Lustful his glare

---

He'd provided

so long as I begged

---

I'd yearned for

warm touches

---

not cold, boring

tongue lashings

in the bed.

---

Then he'd let me wander

dazed... astray

---

I'd asked...

Why can I not find

my way?

---

Oh, come and see me

for one day.

---

And he said...

No.

That it was

not in his plans...

---

and clearly

not in his heart

---

I reached for my shield

and pushed us apart.

---

Now I am back

healthy, serene.

---

and again, my friend,

Thanks for saying

just what you mean.

I Asked for a Bad Romance, and Ate it Too!

by Chevalterre Nabil,

28 May 2010

From the beginning
you doubted 'us',

As I convinced myself

that you were the one.

You've been writing

your lines

more cleverly

than mine.

I admire that...

of course,

that's fine.

But no longer

can I give you:

- my good vibes

- my body

- my heart

- nor my soul...

You bragged

that you don't pray

and that's a shame

Because you

have taken advantage

of my prayers and meditations

You've led me on

texting,

"lick, lick, lick"

Yet you pay

for my ticket

to go see you

"prick, prick, prick"

Unfulfilled

you've left me

with agreed freedom

to play

And when I ask you to share

tales of a probable mistress

Outloud you deny:

- and your bed's vibe

- your toys

- your eyes

- your internet user history

- the myspace comments left over

- the sticky cam-corder

- the way you ignore me

- forgetting to read my e-mails

- you don't mention me to your son

- or your mom, whom I miss.

Your lack of courtesies

And while I got turned on

You started snoring...

You grinned

as I claimed neglect..

And as you prepare for leave,

you won't bother to see me

in my home town...

"not for one day"

(My friends warned

in concern.)

It never entered your mind.

Your ex,

the mother of your child...

like her --

I'll never be

horrifically submissive

And be abused by your

lack of compassion...

I'd asked

how you felt about

some situations

You gave your quickie -

vague, ambiguous answers:

"Sure.. okay...

I want you as a partner,

but don't know what kind.

... and IF you're comfortable,

it's fine by me."

And no matter what...

with or without me,

You're MAD,

PISSED,

and TORKED

All over little shit

And - no wonder...

your co-workers

disrespect you.

No wonder I too

have fallen out

of liking you.

I am

no page

in your chapter

Cause

I want

and demand

some dick

and pussy

either or

with boobies

all over my face

And mylover's face

between my...

Ha-ha-ha!!!

You sexted

"lick, lick, lick"

and you thought

it was cute.

- losing your poetic license

So what...

I had asked

for a bad romance

and it's true

I got it

from you.

Abuse and neglect

are for no one

... neither me

nor you.